Another day of GLOBAL news at the “world’s largest selling English-language daily newspaper”

The Times of India, the “world’s largest selling English-language daily newspaper” never fails to instil in me a sense of national pride. This, it does by reporting every obscure piece of news that has a remote ‘Indian’ association.

My chest swelled with pride on Monday (24th Jan 2011) when I found out, on the front page, this wonderful piece of news:

And on the TIMES GLOBAL page, where the paper pretends to give you International news, the same news was hoisted to the top of the page, but with a twist. The Italian PM was was shown grinning widely at the piece of Jim Carrey news. TOI probably has inside information that Berlo (as they lovingly call him) is eyeing the “dusky beauty” in “in a pink minidress, heels and black cardigan”.

And did you know the ‘Bunga Bunga’ girl says had sex with Berlo. Did you? You know now.

Apart from this, there was the usual Hollywood celebrity news section, inexplicably named ‘AROUND THE WORLD‘. They don’t even try to give you celebrity news from around the world. In Monday’s section, we find out that the ‘Home Alone’  star, Macaulay Culkinn in now dating  a Spanish porn star. Finally, some news I can use!

Outside of Around The World, there was news on how Veena Malik (of Big Boss fame) broke down on Pakistan TV on charges of misrepresentation of the Pakistani women and culture. And that a British Cabinet Minister not only cheated on his wife, but cheated on her with actor Kevin Costner’s lover.

All this, in the GLOBAL news section.

So what do you  know of events around the globe after reading the largest selling english language  newspaper in India?

  • Veena Malik cried because of a chauvinist.
  • The Home Alone kid is dating a porn star
  • Silvio Berlusconi slept with another woman and is grinning at Jim Carrey’s new Indian girlfriend.
  • We can all be proud Indians because Jimmy’s doing someone with an Indian connection.
  • A British Cabinet minister cheated on his wife.
  • And he cheated with Kevin Costner’s somebody.

Satyriasis and Nymphomania can be treated guys. They can. Give it a shot.

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